It is a curious quirk of the human body that the things we ingest often come in one way and out another. For instance, part of the reason that we are carnivorous creatures is that our bodies cannot break down the plant material cellulose. And while we may consume copious amounts of liquor at parties and the occasional boring church lecture (jk!) it is grain alcohol. Rubbing alcohol, on the other hand, cannot be drunk because the liver converts it into methanol and acetone (like – the better do your nails with.)
USELESS INFORMATION? Yes! But prevalent seeing as I just managed to accidentally swallow a capful of the stuff. Now i’ve already been asked how one can accidentally swallow rubbing alcohol and trust me it is possible. The tale goes something like this:
I was cleaning my laptop’s keyboard (Merlin has been using it as a butt-heater). Part of this process involved dipping q-tips in alcohol to wipe down some of the tighter spaces. In order to dip the q-tips I decided to use my water bottle’s cap as a holding facility. When the job was done I simply replaced the cap on my water bottle and completely forgot about it. One or two hours later I decided to partake in the cool refreshing liquid only to spit it out as soon as it hit my mouth because it tasted of rubbing alcohol. Realizing my mistake I laid down and waited to die…
When that didn’t happen I called my doctor and the Poison Control Center, both of whom informed me that I’d swallowed less than an Ounce and wouldn’t require any medical care. Bull, I say. My throat feels oddly numb and cold and I have heartburn something awful. Or maybe that’s just the sting of almost throwing-up from having to talk to Anima and Ona again (DESUDESUDESUDESU). Who knows?
Don’t mock me! It could happen to you. ; w ;