Eden-Avalon's site for user content and personal blogging. For beauty-related blogging, please visit http://sudobeautify.com

Posts tagged "Personal"

Sick Kitty, Sweet Kitty, Shut Up Kitty!

Anyone who knows me knows that i’m a cat person. Not a person who likes cats – a person who’s DNA is comprised of CAT LOVINGS. Recently, Shiro (my eldest) has been having some health issues. It started off innocently enough: tongue sticking out, light drool, growling noise when he ate. We took him to the vet (found out he had an enlarged heart), they gave no diagnosis and treated him with antibiotics and steroids. Done? No.

About three weeks later the symptoms came back with a vengeance. After taking him to the vet we were given a pretty grim set of options: remove all his teeth with a 60% chance of curing his stomatitis, blast off the skin of his throat and gums with lasers for an unknown chance of a cure and finally, put him on immuno-suppressants for the rest of his life (which, on immuno-suppressants, wouldn’t be much longer.) It was an agonizing choice and regardless of which option we went for, the vet seemed keen on reminding us that one of the other options would “probably, eventually” be necessary. For a while we even thought it could be cancer! Luckily, it wasn’t.


My Boyfriend Died At The Laker’s Game

You’re gone now and I don’t know where you went. I can still feel your arms around me, the safe feeling of them. I can still remember the way you kissed me and how it made me feel like I was the focus of the world. I remember the way you looked at me and suddenly I mattered. I remember how you spoke to me and suddenly everything was really going to be okay.

I haven’t had any of those feelings in a very long time. That man, that person is no longer alive. And the man that you’ve become is someone I cannot love. It hurts too much to love him. It hurts too much to see him and remember the man who thought I was his. The man I thought was mine. The man I thought I would be happy for the rest of my life with. It hurts too much to look at you now and know that none of that will happen. It hurts too much to know that I let you pick me up and that (rather than dropping me) you just…disappeared.


Your Love Is A Lie

I was really hoping that when we agreed to each others requests it would work out. I promised to listen to his ideas, to acknowledge their merit. He promised to not tell me to “get over it” when I came to him with my feelings and to give real consideration to how I felt. Less than 48 hours later he was calling me stupid and telling me to “get over” the fact that he shot me down when I was opening up to him. C’lest la vie!

The truth is I’m too terrified of ending up alone to break things off. I know how horrible he is. I am not beyond seeing that the rare nice moments do not make up for the sheer number of shitty ones. I’m sure that someone else could love me more, better – or even more nicely. I don’t know why I’m staying. At this point there are zero benefits and nothing but pain. I feel like a dog that is expected to wait at the door until “master” comes home and pats my head before heading off to more important matters. (Maybe that’s why I never cared for dogs?) (more…)