Current Mood: Lethargic
My dislike of children began a little bit under two decades ago, when I was one. I was never very good at being a child. For the most part, I was quiet, thoughtful, mature, sarcastic and prone to long bouts of bitter sadness. I remember sharing graham crackers and coffee with my 2nd grade teacher during recess and having philosophical debates with my 9th grade Chem teacher. My dislike of children was cemented in 11th grade when I had to do the required 40 hours of high school community service in a toddler center.
Last semester I had plenty of opportunity to go on and on about my dislike of children in one of my group dynamic classes. One of the from that group invited me to her birthday party recently and it was at this party that I realized my dislike has blossomed into full blown hate.
Throughout the day, the children present at the party seemed to NEED to crowd around me. Birthday girl (Licky for the purposes of this blog) spent a good portion of the day warning the children to stay away from me because “Eden doesn’t like kids.” Various times children walked up to me and told me stuff, to which I would reply “…I don’t care.” Bucket had to physically restrain me from punching a child that climbed on top of me. BUT that was not the highlight of my party.
At some point, a pinata was hanging around people’s legs as we tried to figure out how to hang it. The birthday girl decided to playfully kick the pinata…straight into the face of a child. And suddenly the 5-8+ people my age in attendance all stopped and stared at me. AND I LAUGHED. I found so much joy from that annoying child’s pain that even the birthday girl stopped and remarked that I most likely wished it had been me who had kicked the child in the face. FYI…when we finally got the pinata hung, I was the one to knock it down after 3 hits – preventing several children from getting their chance.
THIS WHOLE POST HAS A POINT. I’m not just some psycho who dislikes children.
I have often denied my motherly instinct, despite the fact that I have been told I am a good caretaker to my cats. TBH I care a lot more about my cats than I ever have any child. I don’t see myself wanting children ever and doubt I would be able to raise them successfully. In a world where women are judged by their ability to mother…what does this make me?
As a girl we’re required to like certain things. If we don’t, we’re considered a little off. It took me a while to accept and embrace my hatred of children…even if not everyone else has.
So my question is this: do you have anything in your life that you feel you SHOULD like but don’t? What is it?